Here’s what those who are adopted want you to know

“The number one thing people say when I tell them I’m adopted is… ‘Oh my gosh, I’m sorry,’ and to me, it doesn’t make sense,” said Matthew. “I’ve grown up my entire life knowing I was adopted and knowing that I’m different from other people. I’m just kind of curious why they’re apologizing when it’s not really an issue for me.”

Matthew Morales is originally from Templeton, California. He went to Templeton High School, Cuesta College and now attends Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. He has two loving parents and an older sister.

In other words, he sounds like a typical college student. And that’s how he feels. So when people apologize for bringing up his adoption, he doesn’t understand.

Matthew was a part of a closed adoption, meaning there is minimal interaction between the biological and adopted parents, and little identifying information on the child. But he doesn’t believe that has changed the way he has spent his life.

“I grew up with a wonderful family and wonderful friends. I have a great school that I’m attending and everything else that has fallen into place for me,” he said.

He does admit that he has had his struggles with his identity, but he says his older sister, who is also adopted, has been a positive support system.

“We’d always joke around saying, ‘my mom is going to be cooler than your mom’,” he laughed.

Matthew says he has always appreciated being able to talk about his adoption with his sister and everything that comes with it, as she has gone through nearly the same experience.

His sister did, however, receive a surprising message a few years ago.

“My sister comes running into my room and she was like, ‘Matthew, you’ll never guess what just happened,’” he explained. “And she said that she got a message over social media from a woman and it said, essentially, ‘I’m your mom.’”

He was naturally excited and happy for her. Still, he couldn’t help wondering if the same would ever happen to him.

Even so, he says he loves his adopted parents and will always consider them his mother and father regardless of what may happen in the future.

“I don’t think it should be something that people feel bad for,” he said. “I would say to look at it more positively. We’re the same as everybody else. We just have a different path that took us here.”

 

 

 

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How PULSE is helping Cal Poly students

PULSE, or Peers Understanding Listening Supporting Educating, is an on-campus resource for Cal Poly students located below the Health Center. With various teams that cover different topics, PULSE provides support for students’ mental well-being in multiple different ways.

PULSE’s phone number is (805)-756-6181. The office is open Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and Wednesday 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

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Finding relief in what causes stress: explained

Strategic Pyschology says it best, especially for college students: “If there’s one thing that every person in the modern world experiences, it’s stress.”

And it’s no secret that cellphones and technology as a whole are said to have negative effects on our mental health.

So why are people turning to their phones for stress relief?

Headspace is an app designed for anyone wanting to step back and clear their mind, and people are having positive reactions to it online.

Whether you’re a beginner or a pro, Headspace is made to help users work meditation into their daily lives, even if it’s just a couple minutes, which, in college, is sometimes all you have.

“With all I had going on, at first it seemed counterintuitive to use ten minutes of my precious time to dedicate to meditation practice with this app,” said Cal Poly senior Claire Villasenor. “However, I can say that the benefits extended far beyond just those ten minutes.”

Headspace’s mission is simple – “to improve the health and happiness of the world.” The app offers guided meditations with animations that teach mindfulness techniques to gain a healthy perspective that can be applied to any aspect of life, from school and work to relationships.

College students face different stressors every day, whether it be homework and making time for a social life or forming plans for the future post-graduation. Headspace reminds you how important it is to take a moment to focus on where you are now and appreciate it the present.

With the app, you can train your brain to have a stronger sense of awareness, forming a healthy perspective on each thought and feeling you experience.

While meditating and mindfulness may feel foreign at first, the app allows you to learn and become more comfortable as you go. It tracks your progress so you can physically see how you are doing.

While many have had positive experiences with the app, there are some considerations to be made. While the app is free to download, your access to the meditation programs is limited unless you a pay subscription. Some find it worth it, while others argue it isn’t.

In the end, it’s a personal preference based on how the app works for you and your daily life.

Would you try it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Your roommate is practicing mindfulness. Are you?

You might think mindfulness is only for the cliché “hippie.” But it doesn’t have to be. College students are benefitting from it everywhere. So what does it mean?

According to mindful.org, mindfulness is “the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.”

So it’s all about being in the now. And not just being there, but being in control of yourself while you’re there, and not focusing on anything but the present.

Seems like something we could all use, so why is it so popular specifically with high school and college students?

As a student, there are endless stressors to deal with. From class and work to relationships and a social life, students have a lot to balance, and even when they enjoy each individual activity, all of it combined can feel overwhelming. And there’s naturally the thought that never goes away – what comes next? What school do I attend next? Where is my next job? Where will I live next? Who do I date next? It never ends.

And while it’s exciting to think about the future, it can take away from focusing on what’s happening now. Melinda Benioff is a counselor at La Reina High School, and she says she has yet to see a student who isn’t always, in one way or another, thinking about the future. And while planning ahead has its benefits, doing so too much can become detrimental.

“Anxiety increases when students get concerned about things that might happen in the future and they worry about the what if’s,” Benioff said. “What if they don’t pass the class or what if this project doesn’t turn out well? When students start dwelling on things that they don’t have control over, anxiety and depression increases.”

So, as students realize this, they turn to seeking out a state of mindfulness. The Huffington Post says to achieve and maintain it, you should not only have a strong motivation, but also the will to continuously strengthen it over time. This is done through activities like meditation or yoga.

yoga pic

Students can benefit physically and mentally from yoga (Photo Credit: Joint Base Andrews)

“By doing things like yoga and mindfulness exercises, it keeps you in the present and focused on what you can accomplish just for today and what is happening just for today,” Benioff said. “And then the hope is that by just focusing on things day by day, anxiety can decrease.”

As on-the-go college students, the idea of fitting another activity into our schedules can seem maddening and impossible. But doing so might bring everything closer together while keeping up a healthy state of mind. Maybe this trend is just what we need.

 

 

 

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